Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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