the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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