I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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