whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize