Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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