nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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