One girl and one boy is just not enough.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
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How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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