his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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