The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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