i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize