I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize