About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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