final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize