I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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