when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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