after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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