Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
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47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
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No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize