I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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