but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize