I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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