It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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