SEEEEXXX PLEASE
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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