My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
you never un-have a 4some
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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