turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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