god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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