I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize