its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
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I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
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Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
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