But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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