well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize