just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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