Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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