Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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