I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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