You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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