I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize