I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize