i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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