yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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