I'm going to jail i love you
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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