I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize