I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
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I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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