What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize