Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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