Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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