dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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