So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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