she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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