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I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
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