As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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