At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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